Vayishlach 5774

By Rabbi Daniela Szuster
B´nei Israel Congregation, San Jose, Costa Rica

Last week’s parashah ended with Jacob’s departure from the house of Laban with his wives and children, back to the land of Israel.  It wasn’t easy for Jacob to return to his homeland, taking into account that he had run away from his brother Esau, so he would not kill him.  His return surely awoke in him bitter memories and contradictory feelings.

This week’s parashah begins with the words, “Jacob sent messengers ahead to his brother Esau in the land of Seir, the country of Edom” (Gen. 32:4).  Nothing is said about Esau’s attitude, only about Jacob’s; the minute he left towards Egypt, he imagined a way to meet his brother.  Jacob could have tried to go unnoticed, but he preferred to look for his brother and make things up, if possible.

How did Jacob prepare for this meeting?  What would we have done, if we had to meet one of our siblings in similar circumstances as Esau’s And Jacob’s?

We could think that Esau could have forgotten the problem, since it happened so long ago, continuing with his life and with no desire for revenge.  In this case, it would be good to meet again, talk, and reconcile in a good way.

There are others who maintain that everything in life is in the Lord’s hands; therefore, the only thing to do would be to pray to God to protect him, so that Esau would not kill him.

And last, we could say that Esau never forgot what happened and is quietly waiting for the best time to take revenge.  In this case, what Jacob would have to do is to prepare for the fight.

What would you have done?  How would you have prepared for this uncertain encounter?

Rashi explains that our patriarch prepared himself for the meeting in three different ways:  ledoron, letfillah u’lemilchanah; with gifts, with prayer, and with war (Rashi on Bereshit 32:9).  In the same text, we can see that Jacob sends gifts with the messengers, prays to God and prepares his people, dividing them into camps, in case there was going to be a fight.

According to this commentary, Jacob did not choose any of the three paths mentioned above, but rather all three.  I think this attitude of our patriarch is very interesting, and it could offer us a very important message.

Many times, when we have a conflict with someone and we have to meet him/her, we prepare in just one way: to fight, leaving it in God’s hands, or trying to make up and be friends again.  We usually think of only one way to fix things.

Jacob, on the other hand, knowing how unpredictable human beings can be, preferred to arrive armed with different plans.  This teaches us that when we have to meet with someone again, it is better to do it openly and with no preconceived ideas.   We should just be carried along by the meeting, swept up in our emotions and in the dynamics that emerges from the relationship itself.

Of course, the ideal would be to try to make peace first, then with prayers, and last, if war is unavoidable, defend ourselves.

As human beings, we are unpredictable and non-linear.  That is why it is good for us to have different tools and strategies at hand, being ready to use them at any moment, in the wisest and most appropriate way.

Shabbat Shalom!