Comunidad Hebrea de Guadalajara
I don’t think I’d be wrong if I said that most of us have experienced the following: we see a mirror, a shop window, or a similar surface, and almost inevitably, we turn around to look, or to put it another way, to look at ourselves. Some of us do that to see how well we look; others, to see how bad we look; but be that as it may, a lot of us, when before a mirror, attempt to find ourselves in that reflection.
We can understand that “quasi-need” of our times, related to the capacity of human beings to recognize themselves. It is well known that, unlike other animals, humankind is the species that can recognize itself when reflected. This reflective capacity allows human beings to reflect, to turn inwards and rethink that which they have done or left undone.
But in general, I believe that we do not look at ourselves in shop windows when we’re walking downtown, just to recognize ourselves and reaffirm our reflective capacity. I think we do so for something that in psychology is known as “narcissism”.
The term narcissism has its origin in Greek mythology. According to the legend, there once was a beautiful young man, named Narcissus, who systematically rejected all the young women and men who came to court him. Narcissus considered himself too beautiful to throw away so much perfection into the hands of someone who didn’t deserve it.
Such an egocentric and arrogant attitude drove Narcissus himself, knowingly or unknowingly, to mistreat and humiliate all who approached him. The punishment chosen by Nemesis, Greek goddess of retribution, for Narcissus was that the handsome young man would fall in love with his own image. Therefore, while he was walking on the fields one day, Narcissus came upon a lake and decided to take a drink of water; when he say his reflection on the lake, he was so captivated with his own image, that he ended up falling into the waters and drowning, since he didn’t know how to swim.
And that’s the end of Narcissus’ story.
And now, let us move to our parashah. One of the subjects addressed in Parashat Naso is the presentation of the Nazir, or Nazarene. This person chose to consecrate his life to God for a specific period of time, during which he could not consume alcohol, cut his hair, or have any contact with the dead.
A Nazir could also decide to continue as a Nazarene his entire life. What’s more, we know of some cases where the Nazir himself did not choose such a life, but rather his consecration to God was decided by his mother (as you can see, yiddishe mames are not a modern invention). Both Samson and Samuel are characters who were consecrated as Nezirim, even before they were born.
Now then, during the Talmudic age, the Nazir model was seen in a very negative way. That is, the sages disapproved of the Nazarene who, after consecrating his life to God, separated himself and forgot his community. Israel’s tradition decided, long ago, that it was not interested in this kind of monastic model.
Nevertheless, there is a story in the Talmud that I would like to share with you, which presents a different approach to the Nazir. According to the Talmud, there once was a man who came to see a rabbi. The man gave the rabbi a bag, while he told him about his intention of becoming a Nazir. The rabbi looked at him disapprovingly, and said, “Why do you want to become a Nazir? Don’t you know that in our days, it is frowned upon that you should separate from the congregation to devote yourself entirely to God?” The man replied, “Rabbi, look what’s in the bag. There you will find my newly-shaved off hair. Once upon a time, I had beautiful curls, and everybody admired them. What’s more, there came a time when I almost started to admire them as well, and to believe myself special for being the carrier of such precious hair. At that moment, I decided that I would not allow the yetzer hara to control me, and therefore, I chose to become a Nazir.”
Then, the rabbi looked at the man with tears in his eyes, and said, “May God grant that there be more people like you on this world.”
If you pay attention, you will see that this story is the abso0lute opposite of Narcissus’ legend. The man of the Talmud, aware of his beauty, conscientiously decides to not shut himself up or believe himself to be superior from everyone else, but rather give his hair as an offering by consecrating his life to something that transcends him.
Narcissus’ story is tragic, basically because it shows us that sometimes we can fall in love with ourselves, to such an extent that we forget everything else. It is not bad to have a high self esteem. It is even necessary. But from there to consider ourselves as unparalleled and unique, or believe ourselves the center of the world, there is a great difference.
Narcissus only thought about himself, and in that selfishness, he ended up drowning in his own reflection. Narcissus could only talk with himself, transforming every conversation into a boring monologue.
The Nazir, on his part, is also guilty of egoism, when he devotes all his strength to God, forgetting human beings. Even so, the story of the Talmud teaches us that it is better to consecrate life to others, than devote it to an egocentric feast.
Because just by opening ourselves to others, do we find the true essence of life. And just when we build our lives together, do we strengthen each other and transcend the world of reflections. Because – for those who have not realized it yet – reflections seen on the water, mirrors or shop windows, are just an optical illusion. And no one can grow focusing on this kind of illusion.
Our focus should be mid way between Narcissus and the Nazir. We shouldn’t concentrate on ourselves only, and we shouldn’t devote ourselves entirely to God. What we should do is rescue our particularity and open ourselves to the world, recognizing the other and recognizing ourselves in the other. For the capacity of reflexion provided by a mirror, cannot compare to the capacity of reflexion provided by our fellow human beings. It is in the dialogue with others where we recognize ourselves, and it is in the possibility of interaction with those around us, where we can really make a difference.
Even in the narcissistic society in which we live, each one of us always has the potential to escape from the system and focus on something different. May God grant us the possibility of leaving Narcissus behind, so as to reunite with our fellow men and women, instead of drowning in so much ego.
Shabbat Shalom,
Rabino Joshua Kullock
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