Vayera 5774 - English

By Rabbi Daniela Szuster
B´nei Israel Congregation, San Jose, Costa Rica

Attitudes towards Change

What is your attitude when confronted with a change?  In this week’s parashah, we find two absolutely opposite attitudes in two different characters.  I am referring, specifically, to the story of the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah.

As you may recall, God decided to destroy both cities due to the bad behavior of their inhabitants and Abraham questioned this action, arguing that perhaps there were righteous people there, undeserving of such punishment.  At the end, both cities were destroyed, although Lot and his family were saved.

Before the destruction, God’s messenger warned Lot and his family, saying, “Do not look behind you, nor stop anywhere in the Plain” (Gen. 19:17).

Without a doubt, this is a strange order.  Why couldn’t they look back?, what was the problem?  As everyone knows, Lot’s wife did not obey, looked back, and became a pillar of salt.

I ask again, why couldn’t they look back?  Surely Lot’s wife felt sad about the people left behind, maybe relatives and friends.  Perhaps she felt guilty for saving herself and not all the others.

Looking back also symbolizes looking to the past.  Looking back, reflecting upon the past, isn’t it an important value in our tradition?

Perhaps the pith of the matter was that Lot and his family had to make a change in their lives.  It was essential that they leave that place and move somewhere else.

As is often the case, Lot’s wife reacted with an enormous resistance to change.  So big, in fact, that she insisted on toughening up and staying for life in that place.  She preferred to become a statue of salt than having to make a drastic change in her life.

How often do we resist, thinking that our reality – though disturbing and distressing – is better than having to start something new, something full of uncertainties, playing with other rules, with an unknown reality.

There is a popular saying that says, “every cloud has a silver lining.”  Perhaps what is coming seems to be dangerous because it involves a change in our life, but perhaps this change will not only be for the better, but a better path than that which we were traveling.  We need to have the courage to venture into the new challenges that life presents us.

In contrast to this attitude of resistance, of looking back, towards the past, on the part of Lot’s wife, in this parashah we find a more positive attitude of looking ahead and taking the initiative before the changes.  The cities of Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed and Lot and his daughters found themselves alone.  According to the Torah, the daughters got their father drunk, had sexual relations with him, and conceived children.

Rashi explains this act of the daughters saying that “they thought that the entire world had been destroyed, as in the Generation of the Flood” (Rashi on Genesis 19:31).  Just imagine for a moment your desperation as the only survivors of the planet, knowing that humankind will end with you.  Lot’s daughters adapted to that new reality and thought of a solution to ensure continuity of the human race.

Their decision constitutes a very controversial and very discussed fact among the sages; it goes against the prohibition of incest and many social taboos.  None the less, if we think about Rashi’s explanation that they thought they were the only survivors, we can rescue that attitude of facing ahead, searching for a way to save humankind, instead of looking back, anchoring themselves in the past, and turning into statues of salt.

So, when faced with a change, we have two very different attitudes.  On the one hand, someone who becomes a pillar of salt and can only look towards the past.  On the other hand, someone who faces the new challenge, looks for a solution, and is able to look ahead, toward the future.

 How do we act when faced with a change?  Do we cling to the past and resist change, or do we face ahead, adapting to the new realities?

Shabbat Shalom!