Itró 5777 - English

Rabbi Gustavo Kraselnik

Congregacion Kol Shearith Israel

Dedicated to the memory of L. Jack Davidson

UJCL ex-president – dear friend

“The commandment to honor your father and mother (Ex. 20:12) is more important than the other nine. If you honor your parents, your children will honor you.” With this strong statement Saadia Gaon (Saadia ben Yosef al-Fayumi, Egypt, 892 – Babylon, 942), the greatest leader of the Sura Yeshivah in Babylon invites us to center our attention on the Fifth Commandment.

The complete text of this commandment states: Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land that Adonai your God gives you. The version in Parashat Vaetchanan (Deut. 16) has some more details that are irrelevant for this analysis.

Different laws throughout the Torah deal with the topic of the relationship with the parents in more specific terms, however, here the mandate to honor them in the broad sense is highlighted.  The only text that comes close to this appears in the code of holiness in Parashat Kedoshim: Each of you shall fear your mother and your father.” (Lev. 19:3)

It cannot go unnoticed that in our text the father appears first and then the mother, while in the other text, the order is inverted. The Talmud (Kidushin 30b) explains this by emphasizing the difference between the verbs and balancing the dynamic of the family.  In a patriarchal society, it was normal to have a reverential fear for the father and a more affectionate respect for the mother. Hence, the Torah inverts and places the father first when talking about respect and the mother first when talking about reverential fear, to reinforce the idea that they are both at the same level.

Going back to the fifth commandment, it has the peculiarity of being the only one that carries a reward: “so that you may live long in the land that Adonai your God gives you.”  This prize appears to be an example of the principle “Midah Keneged Midah”, “measure for measure”.  If you respect those who were the origin of your life, you accomplish the lengthening of the days of your life.

The sages in the Mishnah (Pea 1:1), in a passage we read every day in our morning prayer, reaffirm the importance of the precept of honoring the parents and its reward, by placing it in the category of those things whose fruits we enjoy in this world but whose impact endure in the Olam Habah (the world to come).

Undoubtedly, there is a fundamental element in this precept regarding the constitution and functioning of society, and therein lies its importance.  The acknowledgement of authority and hierarchy are pillars that sustain the development of any human group.  In this sense, some commentators claim that the reward should be understood as plural, meaning the long life refers not to the individual but to society.

To these aspects of the Mitzvah we must add another relevant factor.  The fifth commandment is located at the point of transition between the first four that regulate our relationship to God and the last five that define appropriate conduct between people.

Possibly from there the Talmud (in the same page already cited) compares respect for the parents with respect for God.  The connection appears by associating our verse with a passage from the Book of Proverbs (3:9-10): “Honor Adonai with your wealth and with the first fruits of your crops. Then your barns will be filled to overflowing and your cellars with new wine.”  The similarity comes from the use of the term “honor” (and we might add from the fact that this action also carries a reward).

Therefore, our tradition concludes that the Fifth Commandment speaks to us about respecting our parents as a prelude to respecting God, assuming one is not possible without the other. And this is absolutely logical, for just as the Talmud (id.) teaches: “There are three partners in the creation of a person: God, the father, and the mother.”

Honor your parents and honor God.

That is what it is all about.

Shabbat Shalom

Gustavo